I thought I'd lost you
by LilyJames090
Summary: When there is an explosion at the Woolpack, Robert and Aaron both believe that they have lost each other. Will they be reunited?


The two men battled for dominance in their passionate embrace, lips moulded together and hands wrapped in hair, in jackets. Aaron moaned as Robert ducked his head to suck at the sweet spot on Aaron's neck that he knew always made him dizzy with pleasure.

Gently pushing Robert back, Aaron grinned up at his lover. "Want to go upstairs?" he asked, before looking round him to illustrate his point. After all, the men's bathroom at the Woolpack wasn't exactly the most comfortable or safe place for a hook-up, as the two men had previously found.

Robert smirked down at his lover before placing another chaste kiss on his lips. "Alright. In a minute. You have no idea what I'm going to do to you up there tonight." He mumbled between kisses, chuckling as Aaron's breathing became increasingly erratic and his body tensed.

Robert pulled away, leaning his forehead against Aaron's. "Let me go and find Chrissie and tell her I'm leaving. I'll meet you upstairs in 5?" He asked, watching the familiar wave of uneasiness and guilt in Aaron's eyes as he mentioned his wife's name. But Aaron simply nodded, pressing one final kiss to Robert's lips before heading out of the door.

A minute or so later, Robert also emerged from the bathroom, heading over to where his wife was sat with her father and son, ignoring the glares that they were receiving from the majority of the villagers in the pub.

He made his excuses to Chrissie, saying that he had work he needed to finish but that he was better working alone as she argued that she would rather leave with him. He left the pub through the normal exit but instead of turning to go back to Home Farm, went round the side of the pub to knock on the side door and wait for Aaron to answer.

Meanwhile, Aaron had headed into the back room of the pub and instead of going straight upstairs to wait for his lover, had gone into the kitchen to grab a couple of cans of beer for when they had finished. He was just turning to go upstairs and wait for Robert's knock on the door when an explosion ripped through the pub.

Robert:

Robert was about to knock when an explosion knocked him backwards. A ball of fire exploded from within the pub, momentarily blinding him and all he could hear was a high pitched ringing noise… and then silence.

He groaned, feeling a pain in his back because he had flown backwards and into the side of a car, Aaron's car. Aaron. Robert felt panic rise up in his chest at that moment, fearing for the safety of his lover.

The terror was all-consuming, and the only thing that he could focus on was finding Aaron. He could not lose him, not after everything they had been through together. He struggled to his feet, hearing doors open and the other villagers rush out of their houses.

But Robert was not interested in the other villagers. All he wanted was Aaron. His Aaron. Pushing against the door, it would not budge, so Robert stepped back a couple of feet and kicked the door in, once again being pushed back by the force of the flames.

The sight that greeted Robert within the doorway was one that he would never escape from. Fire raged within, a thick layer of dust and dirt coating every possible surface, and debris was lay strewn across the floor.

In desperation, Robert stepped into the pub, coat covering his face in an attempt to stop some of the smoke that was clouding the air getting into his lungs. Aaron must have gone upstairs, so Robert turned to head up.

The stairs were covered in flames, but Robert did not care. Aaron was up there, and Robert was not going to stop until he got to him. Battling against the heat and the smoke, Robert slowly made his way up, feeling the smoke burn his throat and eyes. But he did not care about the pain he was feeling as he had one task to complete, and would not stop until he had completed it.

Finally reaching Aaron's room, Robert tried to push the door open but it would not budge. He stepped back once again and kicked the door in, but stopped in horror at the sight inside.

The floor had almost completely disappeared from Aaron's room, leaving nothing but a big hole in the floor with a few pieces of furniture teetering on the edge. Robert stepped in as far as he dared, looking down into the darkness but he couldn't see anything.

He collapsed to the floor; Aaron was dead. His Aaron. Robert felt the tears burning in his eyes and the flames licking at his body, but he did not care. His Aaron was gone and he could not go on without him.

Robert heard a howling noise and it took him a few seconds to realise it was coming from himself. The tears were pouring down his face and his whole body was shaking with a combination of fear and anguish.

He had lost Aaron. The only person that Robert had ever truly loved was gone, leaving nothing but an empty hole in his chest. He peered down into the hole again, now lit up from within by a fire that had started below.

He could make out dark shapes but knew that there would be no possibility of saving Aaron, not if he had fallen from that height into a fire. Robert contemplated jumping in, joining his lover, but he just couldn't do it. Aaron wouldn't want him to. Aaron would want him to go and join the desperate attempts of the other villagers to save the lives of their friends and family.

Struggling to his feet, Robert choked on the thick black smoke that surrounded him, but he was oblivious to it as he thought about Aaron. All the bad things that Robert had ever said or done to him played in his head on replay and he had no way of stopping them. Instead, he began the treacherous journey away from his lover's bedroom and back downstairs to see if he could help anyone else.

Aaron:

The explosion had not knocked Aaron unconscious; luckily he had been shielded from the majority of the impact because he had been round the corner in the kitchen. However, it had knocked him to the floor, showering him in broken glass and sharp pieces of metal and wood.

He got straight back up to his feet, stumbling and hissing in pain as he put weight on his right leg. Looking down, he noticed a large gash on his leg with blood pouring out and down his jeans. But that was the least of Aaron's worries.

Robert. Robert had gone into the bar to talk to Chrissie, and Aaron was sure that that was where the explosion had originated. He had to find Robert, make sure that he was okay. He felt terror like he had never felt before wrap its icy cold hand around him, and Aaron knew that he would only feel calm when he knew that those he loved were safe.

Aaron began the slow journey towards the front of the pub, groaning each time he put weight on his right leg and stumbling every few steps as it just would not hold his weight. He had to sidestep around and over debris that littered the floor, making his own front room an obstacle course. But he couldn't stop; he had to keep going and find Robert.

Eventually he reached the door ad slowly pushed it open, having to use his weight to push the door past the debris that was piled up on the other side. He found himself in the hallway and glanced up the stairs, to where fire roared and engulfed the staircase. He couldn't see up the stairs because thick black smoke was everywhere but he knew that nobody was upstairs.

He choked on the smoke that found its way down his throat and felt it stinging his eyes, but pushed past this to get into the bar. The scene that greeted him in the bar was carnage – people were everywhere, both moving and unmoving. Screams and cries filled the air as people searched for their loved ones in amongst the debris whilst unharmed villagers desperately attempted to put out the raging fire.

Aaron found Chas behind the bar, a large cut on her forehead and arm obviously broken but looking otherwise unharmed. "Thank god you're okay love, I can't lose you son." She launched herself into Aaron's arms, sobbing, as soon as she saw him.

He returned the tight embrace, mumbling soothing words in her ear whilst his eyes darted about, taking everything in and searching desperately for the figure that he needed to be close to, needed comfort from.

He gently pushed her away as Diane appeared, also seemingly having avoided any serious injuries but covered in cuts and bruises. "At least you're okay pet, what happened to your leg?" She asked, concerned.

Aaron simply shrugged it off, telling both women that it was nothing to worry about and resisting their attempts to bandage it up with makeshift bandages made from bar cloths. He left the two women together behind the bar as he carried on his search for Robert, the fear still ebbing inside his heart.

He didn't even let himself consider the possibility that his lover may be seriously injured… or worse. Robert was alright, had to be alright. Aaron would never forgive himself if something had happened to Robert.

Every glimpse of lanky legs, soft blond hair or anything else remotely resembling Robert set his heart off but every time it turned out to just be another person who wasn't Robert. Aaron felt the panic get even stronger the longer he searched for his lover, and it made it worse that Robert was not answering Aaron's phone calls. Instead, it was just going straight through to voicemail.

Aaron finally spotted Chrissie with Lachlan, and realised that she was kneeling on the floor, crying and screaming. No. Aaron's heart dropped as he saw the scene. Robert was not the person laying on the floor, not the person Chrissie was crying over.

Paramedics rushed into the pub, one immediately heading over to where Chrissie was. "Please help, he's my… my… please just help" She cried, and Aaron felt his eyes fill with tears. No. It couldn't be Robert, it just couldn't. He couldn't be that injured or possibly even dead.

Aaron took a step back in shock, stumbling and placing his hand back on a table to steady himself, not even flinching when shards of glass entered his hand or the pain that was radiating throughout his whole body from the cut on his leg.

He shook his head numbly as Chas grabbed his arm, asking him what was wrong. She glanced over to where Aaron's gaze was fixed, taking in the heart-breaking scene as Chrissie cried over a lifeless body.

Chas' face was ashen as she took in her son's grief, the way that he couldn't even go over to see if he could do anything. She settled for calling over a paramedic to see to her son's cut on his leg and on his hands.

There was not a flicker of emotion on Aaron's face as the paramedic asked him questions and dealt with his injuries. Once the paramedic was finished, Aaron shrugged off Chas' hand on his arms and went outside in an attempt to get away from the tragedy inside as lifeless bodies were seen to and loved ones grieved for those they had lost.

He sat on a bench outside that had amazingly remained intact, staring up at the night sky where the stars glittered as they always did, nothing having changed despite the tragedy unfolding below them.

Robert:

By the time Robert finally made it downstairs, his lungs were crying out for oxygen and his eyes were streaming from a combination of the smoke and his own tears. He searched his pockets for his phone but could not find it and he had no idea where it could be.

He realised with a start that he had not even thought about Chrissie. His own wife had not even crossed his mind, and Robert immediately felt guilty. He may not love Chrissie in the way that he loved Aaron, but she was still his wife and he did feel like he had some responsibility to look out for her.

Robert reached the bar, taking in the scene before him. There were people everywhere: a combination of the locals who had been in the pub at the time of the explosion, villagers who had come to help, paramedics who were treating those who were injured and firemen who were desperately trying to put out the blaze.

Robert wandered round numbly, seeing familiar faces but only searching for one. He finally found Chrissie sat with Lachlan, tears pouring down her face.

She launched herself straight into Robert's arms and her body shook as she sobbed. Robert held her tight and rocked her as she attempted to explain what had happened. In the end, Lachlan took over and explained in a shaking voice how Lawrence had been struck in the chest with debris during the explosion and it had caused a fatal heart attack. Her father was dead.

Robert squeezed his eyes tightly shut. They had both lost people they cared about deeply as a result of the explosion, but Robert could not explain to Chrissie about his loss. Instead, he attempted to comfort his wife, feeling his own tears stream own his face.

Finally, Robert pushed Chrissie away as he spotted Chas with Diane helping to create makeshift bandages. "I'll be back in a minute." He pressed his lips to her forehead quickly before moving to where Chas was, seeing Chrissie exit the pub out of the corner of his eye with Lachlan in tow.

"Chas." Robert's voice broke as he spoke to the mother of his dead lover. Chas' gaze snapped up towards Robert, her jaw dropping in shock.

"Robert? But… How?" She asked in shock, having convinced herself that he was dead.

"What?" Robert asked, confused. He didn't understand why Chas was so shocked to see him and he was wondering why she didn't seem to be upset that her son was dead when it felt as if Robert was being ripped apart from the inside, piece by piece. Chas just pushed past him, running outside in pursuit of some invisible person.

Aaron:

Aaron sat at the bench on his own for some time, listening to the noises coming from within the pub and thinking about what he had lost. Robert was everything he had ever wanted, despite the lies and manipulations.

Aaron didn't know how to go on without Robert, as he had been the only thing keeping Aaron sane over the past few months. Aaron hated it but knew that he would fall back into the dark spiral of depression.

A door opened behind Aaron but he did not react until he heard Chrissie and Lachlan's voices. "Lucky, I just can't believe he's gone. He's too young to die. What do I do without him?" Chrissie sobbed, and Aaron turned to look as Lachlan wrapped an arm around his mother and led her away.

The tears continued to fall down Aaron's face and he felt his chest heave with sobs as it felt as if his heart was being ripped right out of his chest.

The door banged open again and this time it was Chas' voice that Aaron heard. "Aaron, Aaron love. You have to come inside." She took in her son's hunched figure on the bench, sobbing his heart out.

He turned to face his mother, tears cutting tracks through the dust and soot that caked his cheeks. She had never seen her son look so young and she just wanted to take his pain away from him.

"Listen, you have to come inside. I've got something to show you. Please, son." She begged her son, and was pleased when he struggled to his feet and took her arm as she led her son back into the pub.

He was looking down at the floor so did not see the blond figure stood behind the bar, also staring down at the bar. Aaron was the first to look up and spot his lover, and he felt suddenly light-headed.

He must be seeing things. He had seen Chrissie mourn for her dead husband, heard her talk about him. His mind must be playing tricks on him. It had to be, Robert was dead and Aaron couldn't get his hopes up for them to just be crushed again.

Robert finally looked up and caught Aaron's eye. Aaron saw the emotions that flashed through his eyes as he took in the sight of his lover, cut and bruised but otherwise unharmed. Robert's jaw dropped and disbelief was clear on his face, but this was rapidly replaced with a childlike wonder and delight.

Aaron couldn't stop himself from going over to where Robert was stood, just to see if he really was imagining things and if the explosion had messed with his head.

Robert was also moving to where Aaron was so within a couple of steps they were together, stood in front of each other.

Before Aaron even had time to say or do anything, Robert's arms wrapped themselves around Aaron and pulled him tight against Robert's body. Aaron's head was against Robert's chest and he could hear Robert's sobs ad feel the way in which his chest heaved with emotion.

It really was Robert. Robert was alive. Aaron felt a half-smile cross his face as he wrapped his hands in Robert's jacket, wrapping his hands in the material so tightly that he would never be able to let go. He was never letting Robert out of his sights again.

Robert:

Robert couldn't help just grabbing onto Aaron and holing him tight, as if he never wanted them to be parted again. He placed kisses all over Aaron's face and head, one hand splayed on Aaron's back and the other in Aaron's hair, preventing his lover from moving away from him.

They were both sobbing but now they were sobbing with a mixture of relief and exhaustion. They had both thought they had lost the man they loved more than anything else in the world, but had got each other back and nothing would ever be able to drag them apart again.

"Robert, I thought – I thought I'd lost you. I saw Chrissie screaming and crying and just assumed it was you, I thought you'd left me." Aaron's voice shook as he spoke into Robert's chest, but Robert heard his words loud and clear. The tears continued to stream down Robert's face at the raw emotion in Aaron's voice.

"No, that was Lawrence. He had a heart attack as a result of the explosion and died. But I thought I'd lost you, I went up to your room and the floor had collapsed. I thought you'd died in there Aaron, all on your own." Robert's voice was pained, his voice also shaking.

Aaron shook his head to calm his lover. "I never went upstairs. I went to get us some beers, I was in the kitchen when it happened. Oh god Robert, I don't think I could've carried on without you." Aaron continued to sob uncontrollably, and Robert held him even tighter, tucking Aaron's head under Robert's chin like a child.

"Shh," Robert tried to soothe Aaron, "it's okay. I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going anywhere. You have no idea how terrified I was when I thought I'd lost you, I'm never letting you go. I love you Aaron, you are the most important thing to me in the world. I'm nothing without you, and I need you by my side. I'm going to end it with Chrissie and we'll be together properly. I love you so much."

Aaron listened to Robert's little speech attentively, feeling a grin cross his lips at Robert's words. "I love you so much, Robert. If that's what you want, of course I'm happy with it. I'm never letting you go Robert you're stuck with me from now on."

Aaron leant back and the two men finally kissed, each tasting the salt of the other man's tears and the bitter taste of the smoke and dust that coated their skin. The kiss was a short one that conveyed their emotions and sealed the promises that they had made, and then they finally looked around themselves and took in the reactions of the other villagers.

Some villagers looked shocked at the two men, others crying at the way in which they were solely focused on one another. Chas had tears pouring down her face and smiled tentatively at Robert as she saw how happy he made her son and the way in which Aaron had reacted when he thought that he had lost his lover.

But the two men took no notice of the people around them and were focused on each other, on the promises that they had made to each other to never let each other go. It would take the village a long time to recover from this but as long as Aaron and Robert were side by side, they could take on the world.


End file.
